Philosophy and jokes

Do you remember that episode of the simpsons where scully and mulder are in it? Homer thought he saw an alien. I remember this sequence:

Mulder: Mr. Simpson, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw the alien.
Homer: The evening began at the gentlemen’s club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it’s a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney’s car eating packets of mustard. Happy?

Another joke: what shouldn’t you say in an (american philosophical association) interview?

Oh, weren’t you that guy who Putnam trashed in that paper?

Another one: A philosopher goes into a cafe and says ‘can i have a coffee with with no milk?’ the waiter says ‘we are out of milk, do you want a coffee with no cream?’

And another classic:

A guy goes into a university enrollment thing for philosophy classes, he sees enrolment for logic classes and he asks the philosopher: what is logic about? The philosopher tells him, ‘logic is about statements that are entailed from other statements, here’s an example: do you have a car?’

‘Yes’, the student replies.

‘Do you use your car to pick up girls?’ the lecturer asked, ‘Yes’, the student replied.

‘Then you must be heterosexual’ The lecturer says, ‘that is what logic is about’.

So the guy, impressed with the powers of logic, signs up for the class, later, he goes up to his mate. ‘Dude,’ he says, ‘I’ve signed up for a class in logic!’

‘What’s logic?’ the friend asks.

‘Well umm, do you have a car?’ the recently enrolled logic student asks

‘No’, his friend says

‘Dude you are gay!’

This one made me laugh for ages:

There is an engineer, a physicist, a theoretical physicist, and philosopher are trekking a scottish mountain. They see a black sheep.

The engineer says ‘wow, so they are black in scotland!’

The physicist qualifies ‘well, SOME sheep are black in scotland’

The theoretical physicist further qualifies ‘no, there is at LEAST one sheep that is black’

The philosopher even FURTHER qualifies: ‘well, he’s black on one side at least’

Edit: 17:07:06

I add another joke:

Q: Why did Kant write the second critique?

A: To finish the sentence he started on the first critique

That is funny for two reasons:

Superficial reason – Kant wrote a lot!

Deeper reason – the second critique is very much a step forward from the first critique and moves to different areas, from metaphysics and epistemology, Kant has moved to ethics