Master Sinistre came to see me earlier. Sinistre told me of a most interesting predicament.
“Master Destre, today I have rediscovered that one of my old heroes has resurfaced. Not only is he a Sinistrean; but he is the one whose name I bear. Who, I believed was dead, I mourned him for years; and now he has returned. It is a common question for those in love, to ask “How do we carry on when we have lost the one who gives us strenght, meaning, life”. But I have this proposal, this different and unusual question: how is it that we, after mourning the loss of our beloved, and coming to terms with their loss, albeit begrudgingly, and trying to find new meaning in life; do we respond when we find that our love has resurfaced after many years, and in a new and different epoch.
Do we fall in love again? Do we give up our new life? Do we give up our new identity in place of the old one? Master Destre. My old master, Sinistre* [expressed as ‘Sinistre Prime’] has returned. Sinistre* wants to take over me again, for me to join the Sinistreans. I missed him so much; he was he part of me that made me whole, but after I thought I lost him, I began to become an individual, became a new and different person; although I didn’t necessarily feel whole, I gained a new identity, a new life, and I even enjoyed it a little.
When I found Sinistre* again, I felt a great sense of joy, I felt a resolution; that I could be relieved of the sorrow of my past; and reunite with it. I felt the old love I had for him again, the completeness; although it wasn’t exaclty the same, it was very temporary, but what I longed to feel for so long.
The problem is; If i join him; I will have to leave you and Michael. Areopagus will be dissolved, and our project will be over. Would Aeneas return to Troy? No, he wouldn’t. Sinistre* belongs in the past. I’m glad he’s back, but I have my own life, my own identity. I am Sinistre. I’m an areopagite now…this is my new life, my new striving for completeness.