Have you ever felt that giddy joy being around a person? Felt a sudden bolt of fear, energy, joy, terror, and despair all at once? The feeling of excitement, you forcing yourself to keep calm and away from being rash. The feeling of intimidation; being judged; the feeling of being deified and vilified by the same person. The feeling of, upon the whim of another, feeling such a strong sense of joy, to a crashing sense of hopelessness.
I find this feeling so difficult to capture for one so poorly crafted with words.
The feeling of aspiration, fulfillment, and the capacity and oppurtunity to pursue, and cultivatehuman virtue itself; but taken wrongly, can be an oppurtunity of the excercise of evil. The test of the special one, is not of him, but us; testing our response to the wonder of his beauty, the wonder of his mystique, his aura, his scent of divine beauty, his look as, when our eyes meet, I feel a sense of terror, I feel naked, I feel that I can hide behind nothing, for he sees me as I really do.
Special people are those who throw away the regularities of normal feeling; everything is at question. Special people are the ones who you see as being superior to you, those that you see as romantically desirable, the ones you see as threatening, yet desirable, the ones you see as your source of hope, or the ones that you see yourself to be, or the ones that you see.
When people refer to my real life avatar as special; I know not of why they refer to her as special? She has done nothing at all…do they, perhaps, see the real me? Do they see Antisophie when they see my phenomenal persona?